Saturday, June 19, 2010

Confessions of a Jorts Girl

I have a pretty serious obsession with my favorite item of clothing ever. I constantly find myself torn between the comfort and reliability of my go to summer shorts and the potential fashion faux pas I am committing.

The piece of clothing in the spotlight here is my trusty pair of jean cutoffs.

Yes, I am a jorts girl. Through and through. The first day of the year hinting at 80 degree weather you can bet that wherever I am, whatever I'm doing, I am wearing my jorts.

I also need to point out the authenticity of these cutoffs. About 10 years ago they had a rebirth after I went through a growth spurt and my LEI jeans became clam diggers. Now this was circa 1999 and that 1950's pedal pushers revival was almost out of style. (I tend to lag behind a few years). I knew I couldn't pull it off so I craftily snipped away the bottoms and made my very own pair of jort cutoffs.

I don't know if any of you have watched Arrested Development- but the best way to describe the frequency at which I wore these shorts would be to compare it to the character Tobias. Tobias had a "psychological affliction" causing him to be unable to be in the nude at any time- he was a Never Nude. In the shower, the doctor's office and even in bed, he always donned an article of clothing.This article: Jorts.

Okay, I am exaggerating a little. But I really do love my jean shorts. For years they have been my summer uniform.

As I begin to take a deeper look at fashion I am noticing that there is distinct "how to" regarding jort usage.

I am going to a pool party today where no one will be swimming (why does that always happen?). And thus, to uphold the promise I made myself to be more fashion forward, I will find an appropriate and stylish way in which to wear jean cutoff shorts.

Step 1: Try on every top in my closet with the jorts.

What I found: I may have forgotten to mention that these puppies are SHORT. They definitely put the "short" in shorts. Therefore, despite the 90 degree weather I need to pair them with something flowy and long. I can discard my spaghetti strapped shirts, tight midriff bearing shirts and wow I am so clearly stuck in the 90s.

Step 2: Find a shirt that is modest and comes all the way down to mid-butt.

What I found: I have a white empire waisted tube top from Wet Seal back in the day. It's flowy, modest and long- yet very summery.

HOWEVER I have learned one this from wearing this shirt in the past....

Step 3: Always waist belt an empire waist shirt so people don't congratulate you on the baby.

What I found: Last year I was grocery shopping with a male friend of mine. It was probably this same weekend and I was probably wearing my jorts. A man approached us an shook my friend's hand telling him he should be proud to be a father this time next year. "Happy Father's Day" he said, "and good luck to you, Momma" he told me.

We stood there in shock for literally a whole minute before I managed to spit out "wait, did he just..."

"Yeah, he did."

"Do I look..."

"No, you don't."

"Then why did he..."

"Let's just leave."

The incident was never really brought up again but I still carry emotional baggage from that day. I didn't wear this shirt for like months afterwards. I finally realized that this man was either messing with us or blind because I really don't look pregnant.

I think.

I hope.

Regardless, starting that day my affinity for belts began.

Step 4: Spice up the color scheme with some saucy shoes.

What I found: I am a colorful girl. I tend to get drowned out in whites, blacks, browns and grays so I like to add a little flavor to my outfits.

I chose these red shoes from Target to complete the look leaving me with this final product:

I think it's missing something. Suggestions?

Have a great weekend all!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Uncomfortable Moment of the Day:

Allow me to paint you a picture:

Patient in chair, mid procedure, complete silence and concentration in the room.

"I Touch Myself", the song best known from Austin Powers, comes on the radio.

Normal silence quickly becomes awkward silence.

3 minutes and 45 seconds of these lyrics later, the song ends.

Internal sigh of relief.

Moment is abruptly shattered with the all too familiar opening "wah wah wah wahh" of "Let's Get It On".

Discomfort persists.

Friday, June 11, 2010

History of Trend: Part 1 (UGGs)

I'm starting to notice that a lot of trends were originally born out of necessity. I haven't decided if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but it is definitely a thing. I keep seeing fashion creeping its way into the realm of function and making it its own. I feel like what was at one point one person's uniform will sooner or later become a fashion craze of the masses.

Think about it- I came up with UGGs, Polo Shirts, Cargo Pants and Bermuda Shorts off the top of my head.

To dig deeper into this phenomenon that I just discovered (yes, all me), we need to take these items and trace them back to their roots.

I promise this will be funny, not boring, and just littered with all sorts of sarcasm. Here we go:

There is a lot of conflicting literature on the Internet about the origins of the UGG boot. Two of the most popular theories involve the military and sport. Either way, the actual sheepskin boot seems to have originated in either Australia or New Zealand*.

Some stories claim that UGGs were worn by pilots during WWI to ensure toasty toes during flights.

According to the official UGG Australia website it was surfers who truly inspired the UGG boot trend in the US. Apparently to keep their feet warm after exiting frigid water they slipped into a pair of cushy, comfy UGGs- and this quickly caught on.

Now, these people wear UGGs:

Judging by the length of her dress, I can tell it's freezing outside so I'm glad at least her feet are keeping warm*.

He certainly has the charm and swagger of a WWI aviator, maybe he can save his lady friend from the ferocious creatures attacking her feet.

What your thinking is one of three things:
1. "Shit, I have UGGs, am I that douchey?"
2. "Whatever, Daily Garb, UGGs are perfectly fine to wear appropriately"
3. "This is totally accurate and the Daily Garb is likely to win an award for her writing"

You're probably not thinking #3 unless you are my Mom or Dad reading this.

As for #1 and #2, I would feel like I'm cheating you if I didn't mention that I actually own a pair of UGGs.
When the boots first came into the scene I had an intensely adverse reaction to them and swore I would never buy into the overpriced, aggressively trendy fad. However, someone bought them for me against my will as a gift and I pretty much had to wear them.
I'm not going to lie, they are seriously comfortable. I limit my UGG use to NORMAL things like in cold weather and with pants, not skirts or dresses.

Now, I don't have anything against UGGs. I am not vehemently against them, nor am I excited enough to wear them that I would pair them with literally anything in my closet.


Stay tuned for the next History of Trend post: the Polo Shirt.

Romper Mania!

I was so excited about wearing a romper the other night that it carried over into my writing, big time. Check out my friend the DC Goodwill Fashionista to read a guest post I wrote about the pros and cons of rompers... all done in a completely serious tone, of course.

Because rompers are a very serious thing.

Happy Friday!

Friday, June 4, 2010

The Punch Buggy Shirt and More

So I have some outfits to catch you up on! It's been a whirlwind of hot and humid weather (and NO rain) which means two things:
1. Fun and breezy clothing at night
2. I have no idea what to wear during the day

This week my boss has been out of town so I get to wear the same garb as "normal" working professionals when I go into the office (instead of scrubs). After all the complaining I did in this post you would think I was happy about this.
No. I am panic stricken every morning and consequently late for work.
Watching me try on clothes is almost comical. I'm pretty sure if I video taped myself it would come out in fast motion with this song in the background:

Yes, I am blond.

So I'm going to skip my work outfits for this week because I failed miserably. I mismatched and clashed and even wore mock-chinos. Not my proudest moment.

Instead let's focus on one of my new summer dresses I wore last night to an engagement party!

Shoes: Old Navy
Necklace: Lucylu charm necklaces
Bracelet: Judith Ripka (a gift)
Belt: Vintage; antiquity from Mom's closet
Dress: Forever 21 (though can't find it anywhere on the Internet. I guess it was a limited edition?

FACT: This "dress" is actually a romper! I am SO happy rompers are in. They are attractive, versatile, and aside from awkward moments in the bathroom, very comfortable.

Today I am romper-free. I am in a beachy mood, so I am wearing a classic shore-town outfit!

Shoes: Target
Top: H&M a million years ago
Skirt: It's actually a dress, Forever 21

I've been seeing this navy and white shirt everywhere lately. I had a fashion stroke of genius and realized I had one somewhere in the back of my closet. Apparently, it's a "classic". Regardless, keep a look out for them. Better yet, turn it into a "punch buggy" kind of game and hit the person next to you each time one passes by :)

STRIPED ONE! *punch*

Thursday, June 3, 2010

The Curse of The Rainboots

I would just like everyone to know that despite the forecast predicting an 80% of showers for 5 days in a row has not rained ONCE since I got my rain boots.

Calling for rain all weekend...if it doesn't happen I'm wearing them anyway.

Monday, May 31, 2010

Behind the Garb

Some of you might be wondering why The Daily Garb is something about which I feel is worth writing. There are a million answers to this question but perhaps this little piece of information might give you a better understanding:

I wear scrubs to work. EVERYDAY.

Not only this but from Kindergarten through 12th grade I wore a uniform to school. Fashion has never played a major role in my life.

Yes, it's really nice sometimes to role out of bed and throw on a comfy pair of scrubs- but trust me, it gets old. I remember the first day at my job when all I could think about was how special I would feel walking to and from work in my uniform. I imagined people on the street looking at me with complete revere and confidence that when I was near them their lives were not in peril. I pictured children quite literally looking up to me wondering what type of medicine I practiced and how many lives I had saved that day...I was an ER nurse, a doctor, a savior, a hero to the community.

Look how important and serious they are!

Two things completely burst my bubble.
1. I work in a dental office.

It quickly became clear that not only did no one care what I was wearing, but these scrubs seriously made me blend into the masses of unimportant people. I began to notice the business savvy people who confidently power-walked down the street to their distinguished corporate jobs.
These people are the real heroes, I thought. Just look how they exude success and power, toting their heels in their over sized purses so they don't get scuffed on the walk.
These individuals are what they wear...(and I'm wearing "scrubs"...fantastic).

The coup de grace was one day when I was walking home and I noticed a crowd outside of a convenience store. As I got closer it became clear that there was some kind of medical emergency going on.
This was an "oh shit" moment for me.
Turns out there was a homeless man having a seizure on the sidewalk.
I completely tried to avert my eyes as to not get called over to save his life. Miraculously, for the first time like EVER, I was the only person wearing scrubs in a 50 mile radius.
I sped up my pace as someone grabbed my arm and said, "You're a nurse, do something!"
I just looked at her like, "Um I'm not a nurse, but his premolars look great!"
Thank Gd the ambulance arrived just then.

Remember when I described feeling like a superior being while wearing scrubs...well I felt like the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of that when this happened.

Needless to say I now change into my uniform top when I arrive at work as an attempt to hide my health care provider identity from the public.

So this is why I need to spend my non-working hours dressing to success. I like the idea of my outfit reflecting inner confidence. True, I can still be confident in scrubs, but as a creative person fashion is another medium through which I can express myself.

Memorial Day Means Summertime!

Happy Memorial Day!

For most of us, today marks the beginning of summer. Though it is not officially summer yet, I'd say that judging by the overwhelming amount of white chinos, tan lines and bathing suit tops I've seen throughout the city it's pretty darn close.

I'm sitting on the roof right now basking in the mid-day sun with all the necessities.

This is my favorite time of year. Everything is just better. Friends are a little funnier, music is a little more meaningful, food is a little fresher and each day is a little longer than the last. I LOVE IT.

Another thing I love about the summer is the outfits. I wish I could live in shorts, tank tops and flip flops all year round. Warm summer nights where all you need are a sundress and sandals to compliment slightly redder face and shoulders are the best.

Currently I'm sporting one of my new Victoria's Secret bathing suits. I haven't taken it public yet, today is a trial run... I'll judge by the neighbors reaction.

Enjoy the Holiday!!

Friday, May 28, 2010

Victoria's Sneaky Secret

I get the Victoria's Secret magazine in the mail about twice a month. If it's a good day, I'll skim through it and tell myself "I can pull off these outfits too!" If it's a normal day I'll laugh in its face and wonder in what fantasy world do people really look like this.

A few weeks ago, it was a good day. I courageously flipped through the catalogue and became inspired by the beautiful, classy clothing these women adorned...or so I thought.

NOTE TO ALL WOMEN: Victoria's Secret is extremely deceptive! What looks swanky and chic or sexy and flirty has NOTHING TO DO WITH THE CLOTHING. It is the models that completely throw things off balance. VS could literally come out with a line of wearable trash bags and it would look fabulous.

How do I know this, you ask? Well friends, here's how- On this particularly "good day" as I was innocently looking through the swimsuit section (yes, pure naivete), I decided to finally use a gift card I had received years back. I ended up getting this, this and this. After trying them on, I felt like this.

This was my thought process:

Whoa, this doesn't fit right. It must be European style and only cover half my ass. Why is it baggy up here but tight around here? Did they send me a manufacturing defect?! AM I A MANUFACTURING DEFECT?? WHAT'S GOING ON, WHY DOESN'T IT LOOK LIKE THE PICTURE?!!?

Once I settled down I remembered I was essentially looking at a book of optical illusions.

Everyone knows the clothes never look as good on them as they do on the models. These are the most perfectly sculpted women in the world, it is their JOB to look fantastic and sell the heck out of these bathing suits to people like me.

So to you, Victoria's Secret, I say this: "Fool me once, shame on you- fool me twice..I'd like to return this S and exchange it for a M", k thanks.

Waterworks and Rainboots

I'm back! Sorry for the four day writing hiatus. I have been on the verge of an emotional and mental breakdown lately due to things going just completely wrong from all angles in my life.

Yesterday this culminated in a teary sob-fest in front of my boss after he berated me for something minor. I think he was so put off by his otherwise cheery employee melting down in front of him he had no idea what to do. He kind of did the "awkward-pat-on-the-back" move, followed by the "i-have-to-ask-you-this-but-i'm-really-uncomfortable-'do-you-want-to-talk-about-it?'-please-say-no-dear-lord-just-say-no". I didn't subject him to an emo pow wow.

Whatever mistake I had made earlier really didn't matter at this point.

I'm pretty embarrassed I cried in front of him but I honestly couldn't hold in the water works. It felt like weeks of let downs and put downs had materialized into tangible tears and they were on a mission to escape. At one point I wasn't even crying, tears were just flowing out from my faucety eyes. Le sigh.

Oh well, cathartic freak out aside, I feel much better today.

On to the outfits! I just got my new rainboots in the mail:

These boots come in several colors and are originally sold at Target. I ordered mine off of Amazon for like $5 less. They are clearly modeled after Hunter boots but for a fraction of the price. I can't imagine them being any less durable or anyone even remotely being able to tell the difference. For anyone else on a budget, you can't beat this boot.

I've read some blogger opinions on rain boots that say darker, more basic colored ones are more versatile style wise. However, it doesn't rain everyday and it is also rare to get away with crazy patterns on your shoes (I usually wear crazy socks to rebel a little). I chose a happy medium- nothing too wild, but a little lilac edge for a rainy day pick me up.

Forecast says rain tomorrow- can't wait to try them out!

Monday, May 24, 2010

Sleepy Yuppy

There is a chance I might fall asleep while writing this post, just as a heads up. If you see "8u y7t66u7 ji" it means I face planted into my keyboard (I know this because I just experimented by rubbing my face on the keys...not weird).

Tomorrow I have a monster half day of work followed by a three hour drive to and from a school orientation meeting. Obviously I spent about two hours picking out something to wear.
The fashion goal was 'responsible and attractive young professional'. My first few attempts came out as frumpy soccer mom and hobo chic.

Finally, several roommate opinions later (she failed) and a very long Skype conversation with my Mom I decided on this:

The pants are actually cotton khakis even though they look like corduroys in this picture. Also:

-Notepad, CHECK

-Painted toenails CHECK

-Fruits and Passion Perfume CHECK

-Complete confidence in the young professional future-me...*gulp* CHECK?

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Trendy Target Purses..quooiii?

Target has some pretty impressive summer bags out right now, all under $30. These are some of my favorites.

I used to hate big trendy purses, but now I find they are a necessity. The content of mine are usually a Mary Poppins-esque mess- books, snacks and floor lamps included.

Feeling Collegiate

Today I woke up early for a morning jog around a neighboring college campus.

Disclaimer: before I give you the complete wrong impression about me... it is a miracle I was up before 10am, let alone that I went on a run. Sometimes when I'm seriously tired but can't sleep I get really motivated to do productive things. I am a notorious midnight binge organizer.

Anyway, I put together my ideal exercise outfit for this humid 65 degree day. I think I've pinpointed another issue about my habitual fashion faux pas. I usually think what I'm wearing looks just fabulous.... seeing it laid out in front of me on the computer screen... mmm not so much.

You might be thinking, "hey, Daily Garb, this isn't so bad." Okay, hold that thought while I tell you that the purple drawstring bag seen above is an impostor. The real bag is a darker, more abrasive 1990's popstarish purple with huge, pink (sparkling) letters displayed across it reading: "I LOVE DANCE!".

I don't love dance, but the bag was $1 from the Target Dollar section and I am a sucker for all things I can rationalize as being a practical purchase. I spotted the bag and I immediately knew it would look ridiculous on anyone who does not LOVE DANCE! or who is not a tween- but I needed a light weight bag for running and they are hard to come across. Plus, I kept hearing my Mothers voice in my head telling me to "just turn it inside out, no one will know". Sure, but I know and that's almost worse.

Trying to revamp my fashion sense is a challenge. I want to be this kind of chic runner:

So cute.

I give myself a decent grade for today- partially because I'm proud of my athletic endeavour. I'll say B for effort. If anyone knows of any good bags for runners, definitely let me know.
Until then, I am one aggressively perky purple drawstring bag away from a better look :) .

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Welcome to The Daily Garb!

Hi all,

I decided to start this blog after several inspiring hours surfing around the blogosphere. I am a hopeless fashionista who always seems to be missing something from her daily outfits. Whether it's mismatched patterns or lack of a much needed belt- people are often pointing out things to me that I have completely missed.

With the help of this blog I hope to better perfect my outfits by sharing them on the inter-web for all to see...and possibly yell at their computers "NO, DAILY GARB! JELLIE SANDALS ARE OUT!"

No, I'm not that bad. I hope.

Either way, a little fashion blog therapy never hurt anyone.

Getting started... hmm. Of course I am currently totally unprepared for this first post. To show you what I am wearing now will truly be starting from rock bottom. So here we go.

And yes, I wore this outside today. BAM!